I often get criticized for hating this President. I know many people do. And because one of my shadows is being misunderstood, I feel driven to share my truth.
I don’t hate Trump.
And even more important to clarify, is that although I am expressing my intense disgust about how this president conducts himself and how he leads our country, that in of itself doesn’t make me a hateful person or allude that I hate him personally. It is simply me expressing my views about what’s happening.
One of the things I value most is personal expression. And even more so, honoring how I feel. Those two things have served me well in my life.
If you know me personally or have read my experience growing up in an alcoholic family, you know that expressing myself and honoring my truth saved me many times over. You can read more about that on MindBodyGreen.
Now back to Trump and hate. I don’t hate the man Trump himself. I actually feel sorry for him. For two reasons. First, because as an emotional expert and an expert on the shadow, he appears to be a lost soul driven to seek the attention and adoration of others as he’s insecure, continually projects how inadequate he feels, and doesn’t have much love for himself.
And second, as both a teacher and student of human behavior, I understand how our childhood, our experiences, and our pain shape who we are and how we behave. Just by watching both the way Trump divisively leads as well as listening to his continual attacks against others with childhood, petty, mean, bullying-like names, it’s somewhat easy to ascertain that he is deeply wounded and an extremely unhappy man.
No respectable grown up that loves himself or others calls another human being a “Lowlife,” “Dumb As A Rock,” “Pochahantas,” “The Dumbest Man On Television” and the list goes on and on. These names and hundreds of others that are equally pathetic have been uttered by Trump while in office as president of the United States.
So here we are at the precipice of what I do hate about the way Trump leads and what he stands for.
I hate the name calling and bullying. I think it’s despicable and a horrible example for our children, our society as a whole, and future generations.
I also hate that he repeats his lies over and over again until some are too exhausted to care anymore about seeking out the truth, so they simply turn off the TV and deny what’s really happening.
I hate that he has continually made people that have different political views than he does, his enemies.
I hate that he is undermining our free press by casting doubt about their ability and the validity of what they report, every chance he gets.
I hate that he is driving wedges between couples, friends, communities and churches because some people love Trump and some hate Trump. And as much as we don’t want to admit it, many people immediately judge you based on which category you fall into.
I hate that he has created a toxic environment in our country with his crazy tweet storms that are nothing more than his emotional baggage being projected onto his latest perceived opponent or his perceived repeat offenders, such as the democrats and the media.
I hate that he diminished the grave danger of the coronavirus and downplayed it for 70 plus days which put millions of people out of work and so far has caused tens of thousands of deaths.
And I absolutely hate that I have to listen to him speak and am compelled to read what he says because I have too much respect for our country and democracy to be uninformed. It’s simply not an option for me to turn away from what’s going on.
I know that’s quite a list and you may be able to add a few to it or you may disagree with me, which I completely respect. But as Martin Luther King said, “hate is too heavy a burden to bear. I have decided to stick with love.”
So, let’s turn to love.
What I do love about what’s been awakened within me and in this country as a result of the Trump presidency, is that we are being forced to see who we are both individually and collectively, now more than ever before.
I also love that I felt so driven to speak up that I created and hosted a radio show that has helped many people express their political views civilly.
I love that I am now connected to many like minded souls that believe in love, doing what’s right and returning our country to a place we are proud of.
I love that I am stronger than ever before. Every opportunity I was given to embrace another part of my shadow self and make peace with myself, I have taken. And as a result, I feel more whole and at peace than ever before.
I love that many of us have woken up and stopped putting our future into the hands of lawmakers, politicians and leaders that don’t represent who we are or what we believe.
I love that it has challenged me to embrace my fear and anxiety and that I have more faith than ever before.
I love that I know who I am and can express what I feel in a more authentic way than I could just three years ago.
And I love that we are being forced to grow and evolve, both individually and collectively.
My biggest love in life is learning and growing. For what is life without those two things?
As psychologist Carl Jung taught, “we are all everything.” Whatever I see in you, is also in me. Simply put, I don’t have the capacity to hate Donald Trump because I don’t hate myself.
Diane Altomare is an NBC & ABC emotional expert, certified integrative life coach, executive producer and host of Politically Emotional radio and the author of Emotionally Trumped Out. She is often a featured guest on NBC, ABC7 News, dozens of nationally syndicated radio shows, and has contributed to many publications including Mind Body Green, AARP and the Chicago Tribune. dianealtomare.com
Diane Altomare is one of the gentle, but unrelenting threads of resistance to our national inertia of unconscious self-destruction.