Stuck No More

Let’s say you are feeling stuck. You feel like you aren’t smart enough, influential enough, attractive enough, or talented enough to have or create what you want in your life. Or that something you’re specifically doing like starting a new business, writing a book, finding a job that is more aligned with who you are, or even allowing yourself to begin dreaming and envisioning something more for your life isn’t possible for you because of the part of you that keeps telling you, you don’t have what it takes, you’re simply not good enough.

Exercise: LET IT BE

I don’t feel good enough right now. I don’t feel like I have what it takes. OK. Be with it. Simply observe how you are feeling without having to do anything about it. Notice where you feel this in your body. Does it feel like a knot in your stomach, intensity in your mind, or an overall feeling of insecurity? Don’t make yourself “wrong” for feeling the way you do.

Write out the voice of your not-good-enough self. Listen to what this part of you is saying to you. Write out the fear, the self-doubt, the insecurity you feel about your book, your business, an upcoming event, or a project that you don’t feel is good enough. Write it out in what-if statements.

Here are the what-if statements I wrote when I started to doubt this book, what I was writing, and whether it would be powerful enough to help people in the way I intended:

Get present to your what-if statements. Read them aloud a few times and then ask yourself, “OK. What if all that happens?”

Right now, simply be with that. Yes, all of this is possible. Simply let yourself be with the possibility that some of that may happen.

As you sit with the possibility of what you are worrying about, wisdom may arise. Here is the wisdom that came to me when I sat with the feeling of this book not being good enough:

• I can’t control whether someone or anyone will resonate with what I’m saying.But there are many things I can control. And all the success I have created in my life has come from focusing on what I can control.
• I can control the actions I take.
• I can control the energy I put into this book.
• I can control the dedication I give it.
• I can trust that coaching people for twenty years has given me a level of expertise that will translate into powerful words and wisdom that has the power to change lives.
• I can remind myself that I have already helped thousands of people transform their lives with my first, best-selling, award-winning book, Clarity.
• I can reconnect to the truth that I have also helped thousands of people transform their lives with the coaching, guidance, and wisdom I’ve given in individual sessions.
• I can embrace all of that.
• I can be open to the possibility of this book being more than enough, and I can also be at peace with the possibility that it won’t be good enough. Both are a possibility. And the only thing I can control is the actions I take and the energy I give it. The rest is out of my control.
• I am at peace with all of this as it is. I can now let go and continue writing.

Being with what is creates freedom. By allowing our not-good-enough self to express its fear, insecurity, or self-doubt, by listening to and getting present to what we can control, we can navigate our way to finding peace with what is, what we are feeling, and what is possible.

It gives you, like I shared with my what-if statements about this book, a working dialogue to process through what is going on within you and allows you to get to the truth of who you are and what’s possible. It liberates you and frees you from the grips of the part of you that doesn’t feel enough.